this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
