I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think a kid would responsible me up
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
