did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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