How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
