It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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