I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
