I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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