you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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