For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
