This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
