ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This is classic penis vs brain.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
