just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
