Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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