new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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