needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
