if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
