Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize