Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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