He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
