how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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