You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
