I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize