honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
