If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
