at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
