I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
