Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize