So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
