haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He passed out mid-signature
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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