Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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