just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
