i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
