We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
