I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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