I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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