GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
