they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
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Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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