The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize