well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
