well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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