What did we do last night that was yellow?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
