Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize