The maid of honor just puked.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
