No stitches, just platelets and will power
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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