fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize