I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
