ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
