I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
