6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
