Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
