I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
