the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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