hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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