Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
