Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
