omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
