Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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