Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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