So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
