Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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