after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
